The Fog is Finally Lifting on Women and ADHD
- Melissa Duban
- Oct 30
- 6 min read
Stress, “mommy brain,” and menopause are just some of the causes to which mental cloudiness, forgetfulness, and overwhelm (among other symptoms) are often attributed. There is another explanation that hasn’t been on many people’s bingo cards until somewhat recently: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Women are increasingly being diagnosed with ADHD later in life, sometimes much to their surprise. A 2023 study conducted by Epic Research found that ADHD cases among adult women were becoming more prevalent. Between 2020 and 2022, the percentage of women newly diagnosed with ADHD between ages 23–49 nearly doubled.
Many are relieved by the diagnosis because it can offer not only validation but also valuable insight into lifelong self-esteem, relationships, and career struggles. Like many women, I didn’t learn I had ADHD until well into adulthood. I was diagnosed in my late 30s, after years of wondering why things that seemed easy for others felt so hard for me (I’m looking at you, math). I often assumed I just wasn’t as smart or capable. Once I understood how my brain worked, I was able to rewrite the story I’d been telling myself for decades.
Increasing awareness about the different ways in which ADHD presents in girls and women aids in improving earlier detection, symptom management, and encourages challenging outdated perspectives.
New ADHD screening tools are evolving to better reflect the lived experiences of women, addressing long-standing gender biases in diagnostic criteria.
Boys Club – No Girls Allowed
ADHD was previously thought to be almost exclusive to boys, who often presented hard-to-miss behaviors like the inability to sit still. Since the diagnostic evaluation criteria were designed to detect ADHD based on commonly exhibited male traits, girls have frequently been undiagnosed. Women in medicine first drew attention to the pivotal relationship between hormonal fluctuations and ADHD in the 1990s; in the ensuing 30 years, remarkably little research has been conducted in this area.
Depending on the level of severity, inattention may be harder to detect and subsequently fall under the radar, leaving young girls to carry the weight of masking their symptoms to conform to gender-based societal expectations and suffer in silence.
Many women who were diagnosed later in life may have been dealing with it for most of their lives without knowing it. Hormonal fluctuations and decline are to blame when coping strategies no longer work and symptoms become too difficult to ignore. Midlife is often the tipping point when hormonal shifts amplify once manageable symptoms. Estrogen helps regulate key neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, and acetylcholine, which are essential for focus, mood, and memory.
Dopamine is especially critical for executive functioning, and women with ADHD already have lower baseline dopamine activity. When estrogen drops, dopamine regulation worsens, intensifying ADHD symptoms.
Some of the symptoms that women tend to experience could easily be attributed to other factors.
Individually, these symptoms might seem unrelated—but together they tell a different story.
The core ADHD presentations in women include:
chronic overwhelm and forgetfulness
mood swings, irritability, or sensitivity to stress
difficulty initiating or completing tasks
racing thoughts, overthinking, and mental restlessness
intense emotional pain from perceived criticism or rejection (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria -RSD)
losing track of time, chronic lateness, or procrastination
sleep disruption
Hiding in Plain Sight
Despite an increased awareness and demand for women’s mental health, CHADD and the American Professional Society of ADHD and Related Disorders are still finalizing adult diagnostic guidelines and adult treatment. Many women are forced to develop coping skills on their own to help them function within social norms in the absence of a diagnosis. Masking is one coping skill that women tend to use to minimize ADHD symptoms like lack of organization, poor time management, and overwhelm.
Over-organizing, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and avoiding situations that might expose impulsivity or forgetfulness are some of the ways that women hide their symptoms. These strategies can delay diagnosis and increase burnout.
In addition to being exhausting, managing symptoms and the pressure to measure up can result in self-doubt and shame, taking its toll on self-esteem. The effects are far-reaching and can have a significant impact on personal relationships and career.
Paradigm Shift
Being diagnosed at any stage in life is like having a veil lifted for some women, providing greater clarity,
inspiring self-compassion and offering access to treatment and support. Removing the shame and blame also enables women to focus on their strengths and seek out opportunities to thrive.
When Jamie Parks received an ADHD diagnosis in her late teens, her struggle with math started to make a little more sense. However, being prescribed medication with no other support eventually left her unable to tolerate the side effects and on her own again in college. Jamie struggled in her psychology classes and eventually left to pursue a career in the fashion industry. Although she had enjoyed a few years of success, she decided to return to school and complete her degree. This time, when faced with the same frustrations, she remembered her diagnosis and reached out to the school doctor’s office. There she met a nurse practitioner who also had a private ADHD coaching practice.
Jamie learned to get curious about the way her mind worked instead of being self-defeating, how to advocate for herself to get support, and to work with her strengths. Upon completing her degree, she was offered a position helping students struggling with ADHD and then went on to start her own business that has helped hundreds of children, teens, and young adults. Jamie turned a struggle into a strength and then shared it with others.
“I’ve faced my fair share of challenges and had to advocate for myself along the way. I help my clients overcome their circumstances by showing them how to turn obstacles into positive opportunities for growth and success. My biggest goal is to help others overcome their struggles and reach their true potential.” ~ Jamie Parks – Founder of Limitless Learning, Academic Life & ADHD Coaching
Flipping the Script
ADHD in women—especially in midlife—is increasingly being reframed not as a deficit, but as a misunderstood neurotype shaped by hormonal, cultural, and diagnostic blind spots. Gaining an understanding of the unique ways in which the ADHD brain works can go a long way towards reducing shame, fostering appreciation, and accepting that different does not equal bad. Managing symptoms and connecting with support has freed many women to embrace their authentic selves and tap into the benefits of unconventional and innovative thinking and creativity.
Creative problem-solving and divergent thinking
Empathy and emotional depth
Rapid ideation and innovation
Authentic communication and storytelling
Embracing my wonderfully unique brain has transformed how I see myself. What once felt like a struggle has become a superpower: improving my self-image, deepening my empathy, and unleashing a creative energy that fuels both my personal and professional life.
So, it’s time to rewrite the narrative about women and ADHD, because the old one is tired, showing its age, and in serious need of a makeover.
RESOURCES
Hormonal & Neurobiological Insights
Focus: How hormonal shifts across life stages impact ADHD symptoms in women.
Diagnosis, Screening & Late Recognition
Focus: Diagnostic gaps, screening tools, and benefits of late diagnosis.
Education, Support & Community Platforms
Focus: Expert content, peer support, and culturally responsive coaching.
ADDitude – Best Resources for ADHD in Women and Girls
Includes:
Women & ADHD by Katy Weber – Illustrated guides, podcasts, parenting tips, and early screening advocacy
ADDA – Women with ADHD Virtual Peer Support Group – Weekly meetups, webinars, and intersectional support
Podcasts for Women with ADHD
Focus: Lived experience, expert insight, emotional support, and identity reframing.
Communities Worth Joining
Focus: Solidarity, coaching, and shared lived experience.
Sistas with ADHD – Advocacy and support for women of color
Understood.org ADHD Women’s Facebook Group – Judgment-free space for sharing stories and strategies
ADDA Peer Support Groups – Weekly virtual coaching and connection
Resource Hubs & Thought Leaders
Focus: Centralized access to expert content, webinars, and empowering voices.
Career & Identity Resources
Focus: Navigating professional life with ADHD.
Her Nexx Chapter invites you to join our Community where women from around the world are connecting, exploring, and transforming lives.
The Future of Connection for Women
I’m Melissa Duban, and I’m thrilled to join Her Nexx Chapter as an Editor. I bring a background in psychology and years of experience in healthcare communications. My passion lies in empathetic storytelling and women's empowerment. I look forward to creating content that resonates, informs, and inspires.
